Prevailing Purpose

When we were in the process of adopting our oldest son, there was a period of time where his case became very complex. Every few days new information seemed to come to light, and it felt as though plans and court dates changed at the drop of a hat. It was during this season that I found myself reeling with anxiety. I had never experienced sleepless nights or a racing mind, but now they were my constant companions. Peace was no longer a reality that I enjoyed, but a concept that suddenly felt distant and unattainable.

In vain, I tried to handle my anxiety on my own. I was confident that my training as a biblical counselor was sufficient and I would be able to sort through these feelings alone. But I soon found that my emotions were too complex, they were twisted and tied together in a way that I could not hope to sort through without another’s help. After the first weeks of restlessness, I accepted what, at the time, I considered defeat and sought help. Carefully and prayerfully, I shared our struggle with a few people outside of our family, but I sought out two women in particular to be trusted confidants.

The first woman I turned to was someone in our church who had always been, and continues to be, a source of encouragement. Having adopted grandchildren of her own, she directly understands the heartache of waiting on long, drawn-out legal proceedings and the very real fear that something could change at a moment’s notice. But more importantly, I know her to be a faithful follower of Christ, a compassionate friend, and someone who is quick to take others before the Throne in prayer. If ever we had an update, needed prayer for the process, or I had an ache in my own heart, she was among the first I called upon. She was and remains a steady pillar of encouragement to me.

The second woman that I turned to was a colleague whom I met with for formal counseling. Similarly, she is an adoptive parent herself whose children are older than my own, and someone whom I had known to be kind and wise. My illusions of control had been shattered and I was left in lingering fear, but in our conversations she was quick to remind me of God’s kindness and love. She reinforced over and over again to my proud heart that our weakness and utter dependence on Him is not something to be feared or corrected, but something to joyfully surrender to. God used her as a steady voice to redirect me back to scripture and ultimately back to dependence and rest in Him.

While the practical experience these two women had with the complexities of adoption and foster care was helpful, it was even more so their trust in God and their love for Him that led to fruitful conversations. In that season of uncertainty especially, they were an embodiment of Titus 2:3-5 and Galatians 6:1-3 to me.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:1-3

Speaking as a young woman and mother, my encouragement to you, reader, is to seek out more experienced believers. Friendship with those in our same generation or a similar season can certainly be fruitful, but friendship with those who have gone before us leads to a bountiful harvest. Whether in the next phase of life or devoted veterans of the faith, spiritual mothers and fathers are among God’s gifts to us. Don’t allow the enticing illusion of self-sufficiency to keep you from experiencing the full blessings of fellowship with the entire Body of Christ.

In my time of need, these two women instructed me in the Lord, restored me with gentleness, and bore my heavy burden with me. Throughout that season, I regularly turned to them for perspective and encouragement, and they answered with truth from Scripture. Because of their faithfulness, it is not a season that I look back on with regret or embarrassment, but with gratitude.

If you are walking through a difficult season and can benefit from biblical counseling, schedule a session with myself or another qualified counselor today.

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