Prevailing Purpose

It’s no secret that complaining and social media often go hand in hand. Across all platforms you can find angry posts about inconveniences like poor restaurant service and “open letters” to reckless drivers, as well as much more serious concerns about corrupt politicians or the wicked deeds of those abusing their power. While you may find these posts to be a nuisance or unnecessarily negative, they can be easily overlooked or “muted” with one click of a button.

But lately the posts that have concerned me far more are the complaints about spouses that are cloaked in humor. These are the TickToks or Instagram Reels that are meant to be funny or relatable that sometimes hold something more alarming beneath the surface. Those that appear on my feed are often about spouses and contain broad generalizations like the husband who never fully listens or the wife who always complains. And because of their playful nature, we may chuckle and continue scrolling. But my concern is for when those videos come up 5 or 6 times in a row, and a 20 second joke turns first to minutes and then eventually to hours of listening to someone call all husbands incompetent and all wives nags.

While it is true that we can hear something without believing it ourselves, the danger is that the more we hear it the more likely we are to accept it as truth rather than someone’s perspective. Eventually these funny quips are internalized and they become silent grumbles, then they leak into our conversations so that our words are no longer aimed at healthy communication but instead become passive-aggressive or begin to drip with self-pity and bitterness.

Further, we soon forget that each person is a valued image-bearer of God, and each marriage an intended reflection of the relationship between God and his Bride, the Church. When we turn against one another and pursue our own interests, we give neither one another nor God the respect and love that should be shown.

The warning then, to my own heart as much as yours, is to be mindful of our consumption of complaints. What we consume in our social media scrolling, while seemingly harmless or light hearted at the outset, can quickly contribute to our self-serving attitude that desires to see my kingdom come, my will be done.

May we instead be cautious of what we watch and listen to and set boundaries for ourselves by limiting our time on social media, by muting or unfollowing, or by refusing to engage in conversations that slander our spouses or families. Instead, let us seek to out do one another in love both inside and outside of our homes by pursing healthy communication and giving grace in our thoughts and actions.

Before closing this post, it would be careless for me to not leave a note of exception. The above encouragement is meant for those who are in healthy, safe marriages and homes. If there is physical, mental, verbal, or emotional abuse occurring in your marriage or home, you are not complaining or being selfish by seeking help. It is vital for you to receive assistance and be in a safe environment. I encourage you, as soon as possible, to speak to a friend, the police, or another trusted resource. If you are unsure of where to turn, consider calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline for confidential support (800.799.7233).

If you are walking through a difficult season and can benefit from biblical counseling, schedule a session with myself or another qualified counselor today.

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