Prevailing Purpose

We are halfway through what always seems to be the busiest month of the year! Between celebrations and vacations, the calendar always seems to be full and to be frank with you, because of the busyness I often find myself with a temptation to compare.

With the gift and curse that is social media, we now have the ability to see other people’s accomplishments and celebrations at the touch of a screen. Elaborate Mother’s Day celebrations and pregnancy announcements, graduates with honors and grand plans, and vacations to tropical destinations always seem to fill our timelines in May. Even when these things happen to people that we dearly love, it is tempting to succumb to comparison and jealousy. Instead of celebrating others, we begin to see own unfulfilled dreams, our strained relationships, and our insecurities reflected back at us.

Thankfully, this is nothing new. In fact, it is common (1 Corinthians 10:13) and scripture is filled with examples of destructive jealousy and comparison. Below are three brief examples of those who chose to take their eyes off the Giver of good gifts (James 1:17) and onto the gifts he gave to others.

• In Genesis 4:3-9 Abel was the victim of Cain’s unrestrained jealousy. Unable to stomach Abel’s good relationship with the Lord, Cain murders him in a fit of rage.

• In Genesis 30:1 Rachel wrestles with infertility and watches as her sister Leah has many children. Rather than turning to the Lord, she goes to her husband Jacob and threatens to harm herself saying, “give me children or I shall die!”
• In 1 Samuel 18:6-16 Saul, after hearing Israel praise the young warrior David, becomes obsessed with him and eventually attempts to kill him.

There are many other examples in scripture, and if we don’t heed their warnings, we can easily follow in their footsteps. Our initial responses might not be as drastic as murder, self-harm, or destructive obsession, but they can be just as dangerous. Cain, Rachel, and Saul didn’t reach such dark places overnight, but were the result of longstanding and unchecked comparison, jealousy, and obsession.

When I find myself comparing my life to others, my first reaction for many years was to delete social media. Eventually I realized that it wasn’t enough and that sin would simply find another way to creep back in. Instead, those thoughts and that time needed to be replaced with something else, namely, truth.

In Ephesians 4:17-32, Paul lays out the model of putting off the old man, renewing our minds, and putting on the new man. Unfortunately, this pattern doesn’t happen naturally and takes time and effort to accomplish. I am far from perfecting this model, but I have found two very simple things to be helpful in my attempts.

• The first is to pray. When we pray we are turning our focus away from ourselves and to the Lord, and it is a reminder of our place in the world. In these moments I don’t ask for anything for myself. Instead I thank the Lord for how he has blessed others and ask that he would draw them to himself, and thank him for the life and gifts that he has given me.

• Second is to replace those jealous or discontent thoughts with what is true. In Philippians 4:8 Paul encourages the Philippian church to replace their anxious thoughts with whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. For me, this can be as simple as putting away my phone and thinking of or being with my family. Or, when appropriate, to turn to my work, both paid and unpaid, and seeking to complete it with excellence.

Both of these things are much easier said than done, but my greatest encouragement is that I don’t have to do these in my own strength. In his great kindness, God has sent his Spirit to dwell in the hearts of his people and provide us with everything that we need. There is work to be done and certainly effort required, but you are not alone.

Seek the Lord and ask for what you are lacking, and he will be faithful to provide it. Even in our ugliest moments, we serve a God who is kind and never forsakes us, but walks through each moment with us and provides comfort, conviction, and perseverance. Whether you find yourself tempted to compare yourself to others or are struggling with another sin, take heart, my friend, for I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).

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