Prevailing Purpose

Each day there seems to be a new controversy online and May was no exception. However, three occurred this month that are relevant to me. I will not be commenting on each controversy, rather the discourse surrounding them. If you know me personally and would like to discuss them, I will be glad to correspond with you.

The first and smallest is within my denomination and theological education that involves a very serious issue. This issue is not directly related to my local church, but rather has to do with well known voices within the denomination and their failure to respond appropriately. Recently, a new element of the issue came to light that left me disappointed in someone that I had studied under in seminary and who I thought highly of. I do not believe anyone to be without fault and prefer to take everything and everyone with a grain of salt, so I was by no means devastated by the discovery. It is, however, still a sad experience to learn of how this person contributed to an issue.

The second controversy has been within my work as a biblical counselor. In the last month there have been comments from prominent people that were harmful and divisive. I do sincerely hope that these comments were made with good intention, but they lacked a necessary charity. Our community is relatively small and the comments were unfortunately hurtful and concerning to many. Again, I was disappointed and discouraged by people, but not surprised that our sinful natures have come into play.

Finally, and much more well known, were the comments made by an NFL player in a commencement speech. This had the least to do with me personally, and thus was much less impactful. However, I considered it relevant because I am a woman, a wife, and a mother. I have never heard of this man until now, and so I cannot comment on his character or possible intentions, but I do believe that he was potentially ill advised on timing and topic for the occasion.

All three of these events have led to backlash online, especially on X (formerly Twitter). In fact, I learned about each after logging onto X and seeing first many varied replies, then the actual videos and reports. For each event it took me a few minutes to sift through the reactions and determine what had taken place. As I did so, I noticed two things about these replies: they were not made by the people that I most wanted to hear from, and they were reactions, not responses.

Before I go on, I first want to make a clarification. I am not saying that the people who did comment immediately were out of line. I am neither in a position of earthly authority over them, nor am I the Holy Spirit, therefore it is not my place to judge who has a right to speak or when. I am also not saying that you have to be an “expert” on a topic in order to have an opinion on something.

What I am observing, however, is that the leaders in the impacted communities that I respect and whose words I would take into consideration, did not react that same day. Many of them certainly privately had immediate thoughts and reactions, but rather than posting them online, they took the time to consider and choose their words carefully. When they did, their words were not filled with emotion, extremes, or condemnation, but with even temperaments, fair assessment, and an attempt to understand and contribute to the dialogue rather than shout the loudest. Some of those that I have wanted to hear from have chosen not to comment publicly at all, and instead are going about their work caring well for those within their organizations.

This brings me to my second observation. Many of the initial replies made were reactions and not responses. We often use the two words interchangeably, but they are not synonymous. A reaction is something that is instinctive, impulsive, and emotional. A response is conscious, deliberate, and rational. Algorithms and those who fan the flame of division, reward reactions and thus it is tempting to react as quickly as possible.

Rarely is there benefit to reacting rather than responding. The greatest exception I would extend is regarding danger. When life-threatening or serious harm are possible we must react in order to either prevent them, but this is not the case with X. All too easily we forget the people on the other end of our phones and speak brashly, causing damage that we can never know the full extent of.

I have been very grateful for the example of many of these leaders and their calm, generous voices during these issues. We live in a world of outrage and we desperately need grounded, charitable responses that don’t fan the flames of division, but consistently and gently point toward truth.

Scripture that comes to mind when I consider these voices is Micah 6:8,

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

and James 1:19,

Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For the anger of man does not produce the righteous of God.

May we follow their example in the application of these scriptures both online and in person, giving charitable responses that do not fan the flames of outrage and division, but represent the gracious love and kindness of our God.

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