Prevailing Purpose

Every year at Thanksgiving, my grandmother led us in a tradition involving everyone’s favorite candy: candy corn. On every plate sat three of the divisive candies and before the meal each member of our family would use them to share three things they were thankful for. Guiding this tradition were very few rules: we could not simply list the members of our family and we had to give it more than a moment’s thought.

While her intentions were good, I found it difficult as a child to look beyond the hot meal on the table in front of me and think introspectively on my life. My short sighted eyes saw only the hot rolls growing cold as one by one the fifteen to twenty people around the table participated in the tradition, the adults listing things that I could not yet fully appreciate.

I notice this same impatience and entitlement in myself as an adult. In our plenty, we can easily and, almost flippantly, acknowledge the gifts we have received. With a wave of our hand we recognize God’s provision and quickly look back at our packed calendars and plans for more. In our suffering too, we are slow to show gratitude. When we have endured weeks, months, or years of hardship, all that we lack seems to far outweigh our blessings.

Whether because of riches or heartache, a lack of gratitude in both cases are rooted in the same thing: pride.

In Plenty

Pride is tricky. So often it is at the root our our behaviors and thought life, but it can still be difficult to place. In seasons of plenty we tend to forget our neediness and dependence on the Lord. When there is smooth sailing, our success seems to so clearly come from our own hands. We acknowledge that the things that we posses, worldly or otherwise, are not here by accident. But where we go wrong is in assuming they have arrived by our own influence. Prideful thoughts in seasons of plenty can masquerade as statements of recognition of our own hard work.

“I have earned everything I that I have.”

“I am here because of my hard work and sacrifice.”

“I deserve this. Why shouldn’t I treat myself?”

What is more, when pride and envy partner together even the most abundant seasons can appear dull. On the outside, it is easy to appear grateful. Social media has made it easy to participate in humble bragging with a quick picture and a word or two about our wonderful lives. But even as we craft these posts or see them made by others, the question stands, am I truly thankful or am I quietly competing with my “followers?”

Someone else will always appear to have a nicer home, a better marriage, more well behaved kids, and the life that you long for. As we continuously compare our lives to our neighbor’s and grow envious, we fail to keep the command “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Envy seeps into deep recesses of our hearts in the same way that rust corrupts metal. No longer are we sturdy and steadfast in our gratitude but, when tested with the slightest pressure, we are outed as brittle and crumble into dust under our secretly harbored sin.

In Want

Pride also rears its ugly head in seasons of hardship in two distinct ways. The first occurs when our difficulties are the result of our own sin. In these circumstances where we are living with the consequences of our own actions, it is easy to heap shame upon ourselves.

“I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I’m not worthy of love.”

“I don’t deserve ____.”

While on the surface these statements seem humble, they are in fact rooted in pride. When we believe that our own sin has placed us outside of God’s forgiveness and love, we have, in a twisted way, elevated ourselves above God himself. Scripture is clear, there is nothing in all of Creation that can separate us from him (Romans 8:31-39), and yet we believe that we and our sin are more powerful than Christ’s atoning sacrifice on the cross.

The second form of pride in seasons of suffering is rooted in self-pity. When we have endured pain because of things beyond our control, bitter thoughts can begin to creep in and corrupt the basis of our belief system.

“I deserve better.”

“It’s only going to get worse.”

“I haven’t done anything wrong, why am I being punished?”

The apostle Paul was intentional to look beyond his circumstances, namely his persecution, and to the spiritual gifts that he had received. From his prison cell, destitute and alone, he writes in his letter to the Philippines of true joy and contentment (Philippians 4:4-7, 11-13). In chapter two he also points not to himself, but to Christ as the ultimate example of humility (Philippians 2:6-11). In both seasons of plenty and of profound suffering, Paul models himself after his Savior and finds joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.

Keep in Mind

Having a posture of thankfulness doesn’t mean ignoring or downplaying the suffering that you are experiencing. Suffering occurs because sin has touched our lives and the Lord too is grieved over your experience. Whether that sin is present due to your own actions, the actions of another, or simply because we live in a fallen world, the affects of sin are profound. But in the Lord, gratitude and pain can coexist, even in the midst of our deepest heartache.

This Thanksgiving ask the Lord to evaluate your heart and convict you of sin. He will not be unkind or harsh. Instead, he will gently uncover it and show you the way forward. Trust in his providence, his nearness, and his kindness. Rest in his unchanging grace.

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