Prevailing Purpose

I want to start this year by being very honest with you. From Fall 2023 until Fall 2024 was a hard year for me. Of course, wonderful things happened during that year, including our oldest son’s adoption, the birth of our second son, the beginning of this blogging endeavor, and plenty of joyful moments with our family. But it was incredibly busy, completely packed with personal and work events. Spiritually, it was very dry and there were moments when it was all that I could do to keep my head above water. Probably in large part due to a lack of sleep (that first year of a baby’s life is no joke), much of the year is a haze in my memory.

But as the leaves fell and the holidays approached, I realized that I was running out of rope. My white-knuckle grip on the frays of said rope was loosening quickly. At just the right time, we had a long, two week Christmas break that left me incredibly refreshed. There were full days spent with my kids with only their toys and books to distract us, and for two of those days my husband and I rented a Wi-Fi-free cabin in middle-of-nowhere Texas for our five year wedding anniversary.

Those two weeks had some responsibility of course. We had occasional work and two children to keep alive. But for the most part, we rested, read, and enjoyed more extended devotions. Especially when leisurely doing my devotions, I began to realize that I had not gone to the Word or to the Lord in prayer without pressure in who knows how long. What I mean by “pressure” is two-fold. First, I felt pressured because of time. Sometimes I only had fifteen minutes in which to squeeze in my reading or was praying on the five minute drive to the grocery store. I rarely journaled or took notes that year.

Second, I felt pressure to teach everything I was learning. Some of that is my nature. I am someone who both loves to learn and needs to verbally process. Some of that is my work, opportunities for teaching in my two jobs abound. Some of my regular work activities include meeting with counseling clients, writing for my blog, co-leading a mom group in our local church, hosting and leading a small group at our house, teaching children’s Wednesday evening classes, and so on. By the time that the end of 2024 rolled around, I realized that I was unintentionally looking for ways to turn what I was reading into a lesson, and prayed only for the needs of others.

While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing occasionally, it is not conducive to being spiritually healthy. What that two week break did for me was provide space to breath and recognize the unhealthy patterns that I had developed. While I am still actively sorting out those patterns and seeking to create new ones, I have found so much refreshment, conviction, and freedom in praying and reading the Word simply to commune with the Lord. Funny, what doing that for the right reason does for your health.

I share all of that in order to say this, if you find yourself in a similar place, you are not alone. We all experience difficult and stressful seasons of life, but it doesn’t mean that you have to indefinitely exist there. Jesus invites us to rest and abide in him, not white-knuckle our way through the stress as I was doing. Jesus is kind and gentle and humble. Lean upon him and find rest for your soul.

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If you are walking through a difficult season and can benefit from biblical counseling, schedule a session with myself or another qualified counselor today.