Prevailing Purpose

Seven months have passed since my initial bedtime reflection. In that time our boys have grown and their bedtime routines have shifted. But it wasn’t until my husband had an evening work meeting and I was doing bedtime solo that I realized how both the boys and the routine had changed.

Our younger son, now 17 months old and a full-blown toddler, no longer needs to be nursed and rocked to sleep. Now we begin with books and him impatiently allowing me to read two pages before he moves us on to the next book. It follows with him shushing me with giggles and choruses of “no” as I try to sing him the hymns that used to soothe him to sleep as a newborn. Finally, because he has decided he is already too big to fall asleep in my arms, he lays down in his crib and I sit on the floor beside him until he is asleep.

Our six year old, now halfway through Kindergarten, needs less structure for bedtime. He enjoys singing Silly Songs with Larry (yes, the Veggie Tales songs from the 90’s and 2000’s) while he brushes his own teeth and chooses his pajamas. Following this we read his library books, usually about Pete the Cat, monsters, or Spider-Man. He has grown too big for me to carry and these moments of reading together are some of the few that I have to hold him in my arms. While he doesn’t need me to stay in the room with him until he falls asleep, he always asks me to.

Neither of my sons need me to perform miracles to get them to sleep. Instead, what they need is my presence. By simply sitting quietly in their room, they know that they are safe and their needs will be met. While they may not have the words to express it, their little hearts understand that if their parent is there, they can rest.

And as I sat beside each of them, waiting for their wiggles to subside, I considered what I need to rest. It is not a specific adult bedtime routine of skincare products and a good book. Nor is it having a tidy house and an empty sink. My needs are the same as theirs, to be in the presence of a loving parent, specifically, in the presence of the Father.

Even when I am frantically working or trailing after our busy boys, God is there, quiet but present. Available should I have any request. And he is not limited in the same way that I am. When the boys fall asleep I leave the room, always within earshot, but no longer physically with them. God doesn’t become distracted by His to do list, having to be called back to us when He is needed.

Although there comes a day when children grow up and become independent from their parents, we never outgrown the presence of God. He is always present and attentive and ready for us to turn to him for every need. It is in him that we can always find peace and rest for our weary souls.

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